Saturday, November 22, 2008

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Blood, Dirt, And Excrement



Me and Sean Inc's first chair or shit that goes in trees, the ratking chair.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

What We Got's Gonna Turn Your Brain Into Shit

List of all things we can and must do*

Business Plan

Make a fucking list of things we can and must do
Obtain some investors
Become notaries
Buy some office space
Make a circular oak table
Install two intercoms
Get some crazy lathes I love those fucking things
Just fucking put lathes everywhere
Make some chairs
Hire some guys
Fire that one
Make some shit
Bring the coach around
Dig a hole in the ground
Plant some trees
Put some shit in them
Find out if the shit will actually go in the trees
If not, fuck it
If so, mass produce it
Incorporate
Figure out how to make stocks and then make people buy them
Do that shit legit
Get Will Smith on board of directors
Hire an intimidating lawyer with a devil may care attitude
Run the competition out of town with awesome prices and loving customer service
Conduct hostile takeovers whenever we feel like
Advertise through obnoxious pop up internet ads coercing you to click on the shit in a tree
Saturate the broadcast markets nonstop
Buy everything
Do everything
Be everything
Are everything
Win

Product List

Make some fucking stone sweet chairs
Some awesome wood ones with gilding and computer guidance systems
Robot chairs
Lowriding chairs
Chairs for him
Chairs for her
Chairs for fighting
Chairs for loving
Diplomaticly immune chairs
Chairs with a sense of self
Chairs made out of bones and dead stuff
A throne for the business man on the go
Chair that is also an ant farm
Chair with complementary honeycomb full of bees like beekeepers have that slides out of the back
Chairs that fly
Chairs that swim
Chairs that just don't give a fuck
A chair that looks just like Nikola Tesla
Tesla Coil Chair
Chair made entirely of Bose Einstein Condensate
Chairs from times long past
Chairs from times long future
Jade chairs
Made chairs
Spade chairs
Flayed chairs
Jet Chair
Wet Chair
Chair made of ice
Ratking Chair (chair made of rats stuck together with blood and feces)
Wizard chair
Lizard chair
Sword chair
Prison chair
Steam engine chair
Nuclear reactor chair
Seafood chair
Whale penis bone chair
Woolen chair
Canadian chair
Chair made of chains
Clockwork chair
Dock worker chair
Chair that is also a working boat
Chair with a cannon in it
Chair that grows things like potatoes
Chair that sows things like dissent
Chair with food IVs and crap
Chair that is also a speaker
Solar powered chair
Chair with big fat bird wings
Chair carved out of one solid diamond
GPS Chair
DPS Chair
UPS Chair
SPF Chair
Writing chair
Burning chair
Worming chair
Squriming chair
Hairy chair
Human skin chair
Beef chair
Pork chair
Chair that launched a thousand ships
Chair of a thousand faces
Smoking chair
Lair Chair
Dungeon Chair
Bear Chair
Pasta Chair
Space Chair
Salty Chair
Video Chair
Cathode ray tube chair
Neon Chair
LED Chair
DVD Chair
PVC Chair
OPP Chair
Quantum Chair
Fecund Chair
Cardboard chair
Transdimensional chair
Chair made out of dinosaur stuff
Plutonium chair
Uranium 238 Chair
Nitroglycerine Chair
Unleaded gasoline chair
Internet chair made of tubes
Chair that reminds you of your grandma

Updated 11/16/20008

Blimp chair
Blump chair
Crump chair
Crunk chair
Chair with spinners
Chair for winners
Chair-y pie
Chair that prints
Self aware chair
Tesseract chair
Politically afiliated chair
Chair made out of trapped moon lasers (lasers from the moon that are trapped in chair form)
Lava chair
Java chair
Mare chair
Chair chair
Farm fresh chair
Chair with an inflated sense of self importance
Knit chair
Grits chair
Chair blessed with 260 horsepower by the grace of Allah
Chair with a sordid past
Error chair
Chairlemagne
Chair that is obviously over nine thousand
A sullen chair
A Mullens chair
Chairkrieg
Chair imbued with the essence of honey suckles
Chair refused the presence of money duckles
Festive alligator chair with cayman accompaniment
Rumplestiltschair
Battering ram chair
Brandy snifter chair
Chair shaped like a gargoyle made it
Bog chair
Log chair
Hog chair
Smog chair
Chair way too enthusiastic about Air Bud
Chair with mountain legs
Chair of dregs
Chair favored by that worm at the bottom of tequila bottles
Dual chair
Mule-driven chair
Mullet riven chair
Gullet given chair
Chair of Souls
Chair thats contracted leprosy from sharing chai lattes
Chair filled with insurmountable shame
Cyrillic chair
Self sustainable chair
Subsistence chair
Plow chair
Wow chair
Despair chair
Chairabration
Chair of travails
Chair that prevails
Chair of long hails
Chair of lost mails
Chair of salty snails

*Work in progress, list will continue to expand ad infinitum